A Page From My Diary…
After facing my first major rejection at the International Models and Talent Association, I wondered whether or not I wanted to continue pursuing a career in the entertainment industry. IMTA was a huge convention through which Katie Holmes and Ashton Kutcher got discovered. This was a big deal for me because my 14 year old self watched Dawson’s Creek faithfully. Raised with my 2 younger sisters by a single mom, we didn’t have much money financially and my mom used all she had to pay for my attendance at this convention. I remember vividly one evening, the lights was cut off and all we had to eat was 1 can of beans and 1 Hot Dog. My sister and I split the hot dog in 3 ways. My mom refused to eat. It meant a lot to me that my family believed in my success that much to make this sacrifice. So I worked overtime to get an agent at IMTA, giving the best performances during each competition, and when the time came for the agents to give the list of talent they wanted to see for representation, my name was not on that list. I failed. 4,000 agents were at that convention and not a single one said, “Hey that black girl got talent, I want to represent her!” Needless-to-say, I was depressed for weeks and wondered if this is what I truly wanted to do. It was my mom who got me out of my funk and gave me hope to keep going, keep trying.
I don’t think anyone in their right mind would choose this profession. If I had the choice to quit, I would. I know this isn’t what you expect to read in the Bio, but it is the truth…it is my truth. Acting isn’t a choice. Acting is my calling. It’s that nagging voice that says don’t go to sleep! Finish analyzing this scene, even though it’s well past midnight. It’s that nonstop chitter chatter that jolts me up at 3am to write the next hilarious sketch. It’s that itch to take another scene study class or scratch to do a late night improv show and then go home at 1am. It’s a guiding force that I can’t shake. Even if I tried, it would be too painful to ignore. This is why I act because I can’t see myself NOT doing it.
My goal as an actor is to fully express that which has been longing to be expressed but has been overlooked, shutdowned, or discouraged by society and full disclosure, even me.
I live by the words of August Wilson’s The Ground On Which I Stand and Langston Hughes’ The Negro Artist and the Racial Mountain. It’s the reason why in college I rebirthed The Black Entertainment and Theatrical Association to give minorities an opportunity to showcase their talent and why even now, I trailblaze the improv scene with my All black indie improv troupe, Branded Silk, that made it to the finals in the Upright Citizen’s Brigade 3 on 3 Improv Tournament. I could go on and on about my accomplishments - making it on a UCB House team, producing my one woman show with Standing Room Only- but I rather you just check out my resume for that. I gave you what you wanted in these 4 paragraphs…my heart..my driving force.
I’m happy to report my family and I are much better off financially. I wake up in my fancy apartment in New York City and sing, “Hey look, Mom, I’ve made it!” My younger sister has been living in Japan for over 10 years and my youngest sister is a doctor. She also just gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy in the world and my mom helps take care of him. We’ve come a very long way from splitting a frankfurter for dinner- that’s for sure!
Just in case you never read my 2 life changing speeches, click the links below ;-)
Langston Hughes – The Negro Artist and the Racial Mountain | Genius
AMERICAN THEATRE | The Ground on Which I Stand